My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Randomize
