if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Let's paint friendship bongs
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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