he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
