this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
