So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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