Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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