Yo dont text me then not text me
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
