She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
