i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize