We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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