oh god the rape fog is back!
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
They are going to name an STD after you.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Randomize
