sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
