That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
