Can i not drive my cunt home
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
