I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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