My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
