its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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