I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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