Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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