I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
