That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I intend to get homeless drunk
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
