So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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