She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
