I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
