Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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