I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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