Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
