I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
