shes about as inviting as chlamydia
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
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