feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
