Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
