I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
