We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
