Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Are my feet made of real feet?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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