So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
