Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
