She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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