The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
