I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
