I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
