I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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