if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!