Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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