your parents love me but you hate me
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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