I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
