i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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