Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Randomize
