She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
