Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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