He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
