My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize