Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
