i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
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