Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
