I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize