There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
